By Jessica Schmidley
Two things have been occupying my mind lately; planning a kitchen renovation and Glennon Doyle’s memoir “Untamed”.
I’m a pretty quick reader, I can finish most novels within a few days once I get going, but something about this book has me taking a bit more time with it. I’m really digging in and taking the time to get to know the author and digest what she’s saying as I move through it.
A few nights ago I read the following passage:
“Destruction is essential to construction. If we want to build new, we must be willing to let the old burn”.
-Glennon Doyle, Untamed
This hit me particularly because of our remodeling project, and the anxiety that comes with tearing our kitchen down to studs and starting over. I worry about screwing it up, not making the best decisions or choosing the wrong crew to do the job.
When I sat and thought about my specific “construction”, I realized that the “destruction” was indeed essential to my process. I have to give in to the notion of tearing apart what I have, in order to get what I want.
The way I see it, there’s always a risk of it not ending up the way you envisioned even with the best laid plans.
My fear was inhibiting me from making a decision. I was worrying myself further away from something I wanted. By doing this, I was just solidifying myself right where I stood, I would never make any progress this way. I would be destined to keep looking at my battered cabinets and chipped tile floors just as I had for the past 5 years.
I’m applying this concept to a very literal issue that I’m experiencing, which I realize is quite trivial in the scheme of things. However, the concept of construction helped me to visualize this because it was right in front of me. As I re-read that text a few more times I began to see deeper meanings, more internal and less obvious to the naked eye.
I talk to people all the time who want to see a change in their lives but are unwilling or unable to make the requisite steps to get there.
Another saying that comes to mind is, “nothing will change unless you do.”
If you keep making the same decisions and keep following the same path each day, nothing will change. You will be destined to be in the same place a year from now.
“If we want to build new, we must be willing to let the old burn.” You have to let go of old habits, let go of those parts of your life that aren’t serving this new life that you want. This can be difficult. I completely understand that. But if you want to change, you have to put in the work and actually change.
Apply this concept to your relationships, job, family or goals. At the end of the day, ‘wanting’ isn’t enough. You have to get in there, get dirty and break down those walls in order to build the beautiful life (or kitchen) you want.